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(Sample: Do not make a move until you get three IOIs, or Indicators of Interest, such as a slight touch on the arm.) Indeed, the neg itself could be seen as a way to address the problem that sometimes the best way to get a gal’s attention is to ignore her. If anything, Tinder has only facilitated this probability-based approach to courtship, but Strauss’s new book, , is about how he ended up settling down and making peace with the fact that you can’t be monogamous with everyone. I don’t think I’ve gotten any angry emails from people who’ve read it, per se. Strauss: Obviously I was a journalist, this community [of pickup artists] already existed, and I went in to describe my experience of it.
Strauss: Yeah, so if you’re going to talk to me today about it versus then, right?
So I’m wondering if the guy you meet at the beginning of or was it something else? I would hope that at no time is that ever okay in history. But now he wouldn’t be able to get out of bed without rocks being thrown through his window. But I’m wondering, aside from some of the abhorrent techniques that you’ve sort of disavowed, are there any principles you think apply in the Tinder era?
Strauss: Obviously in my journalistic life, I’m just a big believer in free speech and art not being censored no matter what it is, and I don’t think a book is responsible for someone’s behavior. For me, it spoke to a wound of mine that already existed before. People already exist and they find their communities. Gilsinan: And then there’s other small stuff, like one guy whose signature move is to bring women home to look at his Win Amp media player with him. These are problems that people are still trying to solve.
To speak to the second part of it, today, I don’t think it’s actually about male-female, I think it’s about relative status. When Dave Navarro [formerly of the Red Hot Chili Peppers] read the book, he got so excited about negs, he thought they were the funniest thing ever. But today, you’re a jerk no matter what if you’re really out there thinking about status.
So some woman would walk up to him and say she loved his music, and he’d say, that’s a great shirt, where did you get it from, the Grand Canyon gift store? If you’re out there thinking about what your relative status is you can be guaranteed that it’s lower than everybody else. Gilsinan: Could you talk a little bit more about your perspective on the book’s cultural impact? Do people cite you as inspiration for specific things that you find abhorrent?
Kathy Gilsinan: It’s hilarious that this interview got postponed a couple of times. So I think all of a sudden there were these horrid ideas that people read about in Gilsinan: It’s interesting you say almost regretfully that it became the Bible, because it was marketed that way, right?