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I understand that this is his way of responding to the situation and although he assures me he needs me to stay around as he does not want to lose me I feel kind of useless not being able to help at all and sometimes not seeing him and not speaking to him for 2 weeks at the time when he hits a rough patch is really hard for me.
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He wants to deal with everything himself because he wants to be strong for everyone (for the remaining parent and sibling) so me telling him he needs to look after himself does not work as he places himself as a last priority. (INTJ) ENTJ’s need to have an objective approach to a problem for them to find solutions, even with emotions.
His opinion of himself is extremely low at the moment and he focuses on what he can’t do rather than can do when we talk. But usually the ENTJ’s approach to processing emotions is to focus externally and do things or stay occupied all the time and not deal with them until it hits them like a ton of bricks and they’re all of a sudden sad and depressed.
When you date people you meet, other then at a matching making service, you spend lots of time and resources, become emotionally attached, only to find out many dates later, you shared hardly anything in common.