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Posted by / 06-Aug-2020 14:58

Funny one liners dating website

“My girlfriend used to smoke after sex, so we started using lube.” – Jimmy Carr 23.“Circumcision is popular because Jewish girls won’t touch anything that’s not at least 15% off.” – Unknown 24.

“I tried to change my password to penis but they said it was too short.’ – Unknown 22.

Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line. If two people back out, you’re still having sex.” – Gregory House funny one liners " data-medium-file="https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg?

Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. w=786&resize=786,786&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1" data-large-file="https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg? w=1140&resize=1140,1140&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1" class="alignnone size-full_bleed wp-image-888697" src="https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg? w=1140&h=1140" alt="funny one liners" width="1140" height="1140" srcset="https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg?

“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.” – Unknown 27. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis 35. “There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life.” – Doug Stanhope 48. “The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.” – Lenny Bruce 51. “The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.” – Jay Leno 54. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” – Jerry Seinfeld 56. I haven’t seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.” – Joan Rivers 57.

“Consider the daffodil…and while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, going through your stuff.” – Jack Handy 28. “They lie about marijuana: ‘Marijuana makes you unmotivated.’ Lie. I said ‘It’s nice to see so many bums on seats.’” – Jimmy Carr 41. I used to teach class like this, – Maragaret Cho 43. “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.” – George Carlin 52. “I can’t wait till Sunday, I’m gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece…” – Sarah Silverman 55.

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