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We come up with increasingly baroque reasons why we have been uniquely disadvantaged – we’re too “beta”, for example, for the notoriously “hypergamous” women.
The PUAHate forums that Elliot Rodger frequented take this to an almost fascinating extreme, comparing brow ridges and jaw angles and eye space in some sort of unified theory of sexual phrenology.
Your virginity hangs around your neck like an albatross. Like there’s a great fault within you that’s holding you back but that nobody else seems to have.
What are you supposed to do about the fact that you’re one of the Great Untouched?
And one of the best places to start is to talk about sex.
Specifically: male virginity and the shame in ages – talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin.
We live in a culture that seems to go out of its way to imply that everyone is having sex and you aren’t. In fact, the number of people having sex in high school is actually from 54% in 1991 to 43% in 2011.
that much in hopes that I might hit that metaphorical home run.The earlier you lose it, the better off you are (no matter how unhealthy that act may actually be), but you should be trying by high school.According to the Standard Narrative, the ideal time is at some suitably momentous occasion: the “big game”, at prom… If you can’t manage it in high school, then you wants to be there because here there be dragons.We blame others for somehow depriving us of sex, as though it were something we were owed.We blame for whatever flaws make us perceive ourselves as unfuckable.
And just as traditional masculinity is a fragile thing, any minor deviation from the Virginity Narrative throws the whole thing into disarray. And there will be plenty of people eager to reinforce the narrative, to mock us, and tell us that this deviation from the narrative calls our masculinity into question.